The picture above that I took in Rome 6 years ago has never been so relevant, this is how I feel in “the vortex” at all times 🙂
This is how my family feels about me being in the vortex:
After being on and off and around the blockchain space since 2012, I finally willingly jumped into the-blockchain-rabbit-hole full-time at the Miami Bitcoin conference last year. However, I’ve been advocating for decentralization in the rawest of ways since the crisis of 02′ and then AGAIN in 08′ bleeding into ’09 when my so-called “government of the people” openly and unapologetically destroyed my family’s lives by stealing our life-savings.
My mom was left to take care of a house and 2 kids with nothing. I mean, no job (she was a media /journalist literally threatened to death) no shoes, and eating ice cream for dinner 3 times a week because it was the cheapest food around.
Life was not easy, I remember wrapping spray-paint cans into hoodies so they would muffle the noise they made when we ran from the cops after tagging banks’ walls and throwing rocks through their windows, trying to steal their computers or whatever we could take back… so life was not easy, to say the least, and this reality is the truth and the only reality, for many people around the world.
I was one of the lucky ones, that still got the education, that had the love and support of friends and a small hard-working family, that escaped the loop, that moved to a 1st world country, that was healthy enough, and honestly, “white looking enough” to get by with added privilege, and that worked ‘round the clock since I can remember to make my dreams into a reality.
I have a voice in this space because I have earned it, and because it is a part of my purpose to continue bridging the extremes. I am here to decentralART to help hold each other accountable, to help reach mass adoption through the soul language of all movements, art! to put blockchain technology to use, now, in real time, and towards planet positive awareness and action.
I refuse to be a victim of a broken government and system, I choose to be an example of an unbreakable soul motivated to leave this pale-blue-dot floating through space, better than I found it.
Many of us in this space live an insane life… by choice. Tragedies and hardships we all have aside, being a part of the blockchain evolution can be a beautiful tornado.
Living in this vortex, or trusting the current of this movement, being taped into the ongoing events, and the micro and macro changes in the community feels much like my backpacker nomadic flow from back in the day.
— I once backpacked for about a decade straight — in that life within this life I got to live in a tent for months at a time on the beaches of Peru, land a raw-food-chef gig in an 11 room mansion on a private beach the next week, paint murals and teach healing art classes, yoga, music, in exchange of an abundant life traveling all over the world without computers and barely touching any money.
Fast forward 4 years from that, a truck runs me over while I am biking in Argentina, and that random dude running a red light changes my life forever. In that moment, my organs fail, I die, I see the light hear some mind-blowing messages, come back to life, with superpowers that I was unaware of, and end up bedridden in a hospital, body and soul momentarily broken for 3 days until we arrange 2 teams of surgeons to rebuild some of my body in a 10 hour surgery session from hell, where the morphine did not fully take, so I survived based on a cycle of passing out and random spikes of adrenaline.
Upon waking up a few months later, out of the morphine and ketamine fog being injected daily into my jugular, I am told I will never yoga again, or move how I used to, but I move into an apartment with a 24 hour nurse, and with the support of some amazing humans, I re-learn how to walk, get myself to full mobility again, despite the massive amounts of metal in my hip, leg, ankle.
I go through many insanity waves, fall into a deep depression for a while, then remember life can be great, work through some of my hardcore shadows, birth a book baby to let go of some of my trauma, move back to the states — while still on crutches with my backpack, basically stand up for the duration of a 24 hour flight because sitting hurts- Land in Boston, cry to my mom for a few weeks, I am forced to get on depression meds, (thankful now) get a part-time job at a hat shop in Boston to match the cane I had to walk with after getting off the wheel chair and the crutches, (get off the depression meds) make friends with some north end mobsters that would frequent the hat shop, move to costa rica with my then boyfriend, get kicked out of the community house for still being too sad, microdose with some medicinal plants, feel better, move back to boston, find the rainbow gathering, fall in love in a poly relationship, realize thats a lot of work, go to a raw vegan festival, fall in love with a girl, move to austin with her, get back on a bike, still hurts, try rock climbing, realize I probably can’t anymore, mourn the death of the sport I loved so much, fall in love with some hippies, get my heart broken, heal it making art, get back on a bike, happy to be able to bike again, meanwhile working various remote gigs, mostly writing content, then finally! decide once again, that I want to be a full-time artist.
Fast forward another few years, I have been in Austin for about 2 years, making a living as an artist, swearing I will never date anyone ever again, feeling really proud of myself but still stressing out and living painting to painting.
On a whim, after making some crypto art for a while, I decided to find some sponsors for paint, travel, and hotel, and head on over to Miami to paint an RV at a crypto art after party.
I was live spraypainting this btc rv, going on hour 6, mostly present, half thinking about how to pay rent and how I had been following spirit to “put my body where my words were at any cost” just to be a part of this movement.
Wondering how and when this would pay up in a 3d way, where I could catch some slack and not think about numbers for a moment, a woman approached me and invited me to be a part of the innovative Dubai art movement, next thing I know I’m on an email chain with some diplomats.
In that moment, the last thread of old programming from scarcity evaporated, and my mindset switched full time to “yes whatever it takes, I am staying on my soul purpose mission”
The diplomats’ email was cool but really just the drop that short-circuited my old motherboard, in the best possible way.
I really do believe that luck is when preparation meets opportunity, and if I’m not on location, or putting myself out there as much as possible, no matter how sharp my skills are, they ain’t gon be practical by myself in hideout.
I know I seem very social and sometimes I can be, but most of my nomadic life I spent alone in nature, seeing humans for little parts of the day, and sometimes not at all for weeks. This is very common in the “awakening process” or just becoming more aware of our wants and energy, we tend to be more sensitive to others’ energies also and so want to go within more often. As I mentioned before “I’ve given my soul back to the ether”
*finding wherever your soul came from and giving it back to that vibration. This basically means finally accepting once again, but without looking back this time, that I am on earth to create, and to help others get in touch with their creativity for their own healing.
How many times do we realize and accept our purpose, only to take some random job 2 months later because uncertainty is difficult to deal with? its ok, we all do this, and sometimes bills are real af, we can be kind with ourselves in this process, as long as we don’t forget that the soul dying slowly in agony when we ignore our true nature sucks more eventually. The formula seems to be to never give up, and never lie to ourselves, a few steps back here and there make the natural learning dance.
I can say that I finally decided to take the leap (again) and be a full-time artist 2 years ago. This meant never again accepting a job that did not have to do with art, but also because I am extreme, I decided all these jobs had to allow for my creative freedom 100% of the time, otherwise, they still felt just like “jobs”
It has been challenging indeed, mostly because we are still redefining value and art has never been valued traditionally in the same ways as other skills, engineering, doctoring, etc, hence, the assumption that exposure pays artist’s bills, and yes, choosing to be an artist is a privilege, like many others, so is studying architecture or graphic designs, (or having drinking water come out of a tap) but those jobs are never done for exposure, yet I have learned so much! and would change nothing, not even that stupid death and re-birth blip in my existence. (that at the time felt like a forever death sentence)
Since embracing my full-time artist mission and the blockchain community, life has been more surreal than ever! contrary to some assumptions, I am not rolling in crypto, or fiat, or drugs, I am mostly sober, pretty healthily obsessed with human optimization, I don’t live paycheck to paycheck, but I still live project to project, and thankful for every opportunity that I hussle for, write proposals for, and continue to create for myself in a world where this type of art seems to not be seen at the same level of importance than the engineering, and we all get it, it has been this way forever. What is even more confusing, is the people in the space who do get it, and completely understand that art is the vehicle to mass adoption, but still ask artists to work for exposure, blaming “the system” or the individual for not having made it to whatever level yet where you are getting paid for your brand and street cred. I hope I can help in this blockchain-age to decentralize opportunities so working artists can also make a living, creating the branding, logos, swag, and overall culture of every movement in history.
After that mini fire rant, and once again knowing I am still one of the lucky ones who even has the opportunity to dream, here are some photos from the most recent vortex landing spots.
Above is some of us at the Ninja art Villa in SF with the intergalactic space cat tribe, so much fun with family meals, freestyle conscious rap, cuddle puddles, ai meetings, proposal writing, nature walking, deer and mountain lion watching, wiggling our bodies with no music.
Painting a 3 story crypto mural in Austin TX —
On our way to see the big Buddha in Hong Kong
Making art installations in a castle in Italy, launching my Street Art FashionLine, selling some of my favorite pieces in the last Paris Art show
Showing the new NFC chipped registered on the blockchain Art Collection thanks to the Blockchain Art Collective team that I love!
Donating art to raise funds for some of my favorite non-profits
Speaking about consciousness expansion and entrepreneurship as a spiritual path, writing my 3rd book, taking a month off here and there to slow down and center, and remembering to practice being instead of doing from time to time.
Well, if you made it to the end of this article, goddess bless you for walking through that recap with me! My mind goes back and forth between thinking “no one cares about another human story” and then knowing that other people’s stories have been so helpful to me that I must share mine in case it helps anyone else.
And to be honest, the negative talk or self-judgment is less and less everyday, and it is just a muscle, it takes practice to re-program that’s all.
My biggest encouragement and joy, in addition to getting rid of the depression that controlled my life by living my true purpose, is the little messages I get from strangers “your post encouraged me to make art again” if I can help one person a day get back in touch with their creativity, then my life this time around feels very worth while.