Unfinished bali paintings.. 🎨🎨🎨ive filled out 8 sketchbooks since ive been here, about 10 months.. probably the most ive drawn in a while. πŸ¦‹

Ive painted 4 small murals in the most true to myself style just for the fun of itπŸ€ŸπŸ™πŸŽ¨πŸ’—have learned to speak in a whole new language, taking classes and all..

ive aquired drums and held music circles, hosted 1n1 sound healing sessions. Had the tremendous honor of serving as a channel and space holder for some sacred healings over the phone as well as in person. βœ¨πŸ’œ

Sold paintings remotely, had the pleasure of partaking on some art shows at a distance (grateful for those involved in inspiring and helping make this a reality while far away) πŸ™πŸ™Œ.

And Beyond this.. well really.. underneath all of this.. at the core of all of this, ive been putting in my ten thousand hours and my ten million hours on healing the self, and the collective therefore with my 2 cents ✨πŸ₯΅πŸ¦‹πŸ’—πŸ™πŸ™ŒπŸŽ¨βœ¨.

I have gained important and beautiful friendships and lessons..

I have connected with new-to-me ancient land, and have prayed to the waters and the earth apologizing for the tremendous amount of pollution we have carelessly thrown at our mother earth.πŸ˜­πŸ’œπŸ˜ΆπŸ.

I have been able to for the first time in almost 6 years, take a yoga class and kind of work out post surgery recovery. πŸ™πŸ™Œ.

I have had the blessing and luck of health and abundance to travel to singapore, hk, korea, australia, and even back to the usa for 2 crazy weeks where the gods of travel gifted me 5 seats to sleep onπŸ€―πŸ™πŸ™ŒπŸ’—.

I have unwired and rewired my amygdala, my heart, my rem, my ribs, my breath, and healed my ptsd. conquering some of my craziest fears of getting back into the middle of traffic. this time even riding a motorcycle, in these wild rule-free flowy streets of bali. (With some tremendous support from loved ones ill always be in awe of and grateful for).❀️.

Ive danced and spent so much time

with women in circles, drinking cacao. taken flower baths and photographs and contact dance that helped me reconnect with sensuality and the divinity within me. Ive cried so much, i mean so so so much, like a broken faucet thats really a cenote that merges with a river that ends in the ocean. 😭✨.

Ive been gifted miraculous moments with gekos and fire-flies and felines and lil bugs ive never seen before and walked through peaceful swaying rice fields at all hours of the day and night.

Ive been purified by one more ocean to add to my list 🌊 because im so lucky (preparation meets opportunity) to have travelled so much that i no longer count continents or cities.

And innumerable more miracles of living this fkd up beautiful ugly tough silly fun annoying peaceful life.

Its been so weird to watch my brain get stuck on the negative.. and yes, there has been so much of that too.. where theres light.. theres shadow. And ive found it hard to express where im at truthfully in a balanced way. Just body ability or lack there of messes with me so much. Half of my days in bed and most of my days in pain is a tough existence sometimes.

But as i write this.. still healing.. still mostly taking care of my body for these past intense 2 weeks, i still feel grateful, and even peaceful. At least in this moment.

More.. surrendering.. more, surrendering.. more.

Theres so many waves, and im infinitely grateful for my support systems that literally hold me up when im crumbling.

May this falling apart.. once more..serve to re-build the most beautiful and interesting, collage-of-pieces-of-me yet.

I ask for protection, compassion, and love, as this next adventure continues to unfold.

Thank you